Turning 40 is supposed to be a big milestone, so here are 40 thoughts on life as I enter the next decade.

Hope you find some of these helpful.

1. Life is short but the longest thing we’ll ever do. Eat good food, spend more time with loved ones, and never pass up a good adventure.

2. You can influence almost anything, you control almost nothing.

3. The only person you can control is you.

4. You can’t change anyone.

5. The greatest awareness is self-awareness.

6. Being honest with yourself is the first step to self-awareness.

7. Emotional intelligence is highly underrated and unfortunately, highly rare.

8. Presence is the greatest gift you can give someone when with them.

9. A good friend is someone who has pictures on their phone that can ruin you. The best friends have entire albums.

10. I connect far more with people over our vulnerabilities and vices than I do our victories. Victories are short lived. The battle over our vices and vulnerabilities rages everyday and this is why it’s so much easier to connect with others.

11. If we can’t have at least 3 drinks together we probably won’t do life well together.

12. True wealth is found in the quality and quantity of your family and friends.

13. Crisis doesn’t create community, it reveals it.

14. Relationships are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Somehow the right people have always entered my story at the right time, and I can only hope the same has been said of me with their stories.

15. It truly is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, but heartbreak really does change you.

16. Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

17. You don’t lose your soul at once, it’s a little here and a little there.

18. I usually give people more chances than needed but once I’m done, I’m done.

19. Hate never heals.

20. The most underrated punctuation mark in an apology is a period, as in “I’m sorry.” [period] Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

21. Short-sightedness is the greatest obstacle to a richer life.

22. When facing a decision or dilemma ask, “What would a wise person do?”

23. God gave us two ears and one mouth. How much better would the world be if we listened to one another twice as much as we talked?

24. You are responsible for what you communicate, not what you mean or intend.

25. People who cut you off in conversations aren’t really worth having conversations with.

26. Thoughts disentangle themselves through the lips and through the fingertips. It’s why I text, talk, and journal.

27. Clarity comes through a marriage of movement and meditation.

28. Even a dead fish goes with the flow. Carve your own path.

29. The world of the generous grows larger and larger.

30. Gifts are free, maturity is expensive.

31. Money is simply a means to create memories. 

32. One very interesting thing about money: it doesn’t buy class.

33. God doesn’t know how to go from bad to worse, only from glory to glory.

34. The wilderness and promised land both require you to fight. The first is a fight to get through, the second is a fight to occupy.

35. Sometimes your greatest strength is your biggest weakness. It’s true in Judo and it’s true in life.

36. The higher you go, the bigger the target on your back becomes.

37. The most important books I’ve ever read: the Bible, Three Kingdoms (Chinese historical novel), and Codependent No More. The first I read when I was 12 years old, the second at 16 years old, the third at 38 years old.

38. More often than not, availability is the greatest “ability” a person can possess.

39. When you invest in yourself the game is rigged — because you dictate the returns.

40. The days are long but the years are short.

Thanks for being a part of my journey, and for allowing me to be a part of yours.