Before I get into this week’s letter, I’ve had a few people reach out (from another email list) about a book study for my book with Andy Storch, Own Your Brand, Own Your Career.
That book is for career professionals but it’s probably safe to assume some on this list are in that role right now. If this interests you, leave your name and email on this simple interest list.
There are some optional questions there that you can respond to, which would help me tailor the study. No pressure though. I’ll send out word separately if there’s enough interest!
I mentioned last issue that while I’m in what feels like a "holding pattern," I’ve been diving into things that will likely help me in any upcoming season or endeavor.
Naturally, like you and many others, I treat "fog" in my life as a problem to be solved.
Strive for clarity! Map out every possibility! “God gave you one ass, pick a horse and ride it!”
(That last one was attributed to Dr. Phil. I haven’t found the actual quote but always found it funny.)
Life has shown me that it’s hard to "solve" a clarity problem. You can’t think your way out of a fog. You just have to move through it.
On vacation I read Shane Parrish’s excellent book, Clear Thinking. I was in a bookstore in Vietnam and figured, "Some clear thinking would be good for me right now."
A lot of us are good problem solvers… FOR OTHER PEOPLE. We often suck at solving problems for ourselves.
I think it’s because we aren’t good at defining our own problems. They’re too subjective.
Parrish outlines a few steps I found helpful, mainly because I tend to jump to a SOLUTION rather than work through what I’m facing. Three steps:
- What do I want to achieve?
- What obstacles stand in the way?
- What would have to be true for this problem not to exist in the first place?
I know these sound super basic but they were really impactful for me.
I usually ask the wrong question, so no wonder finding a solution feels frustrating. In this case it was, “Should I move to Vietnam?” Bad question since there is no process behind it. It’s just a yes or no question.
When I wrote down what I wanted to achieve, I said that I want to see more of that side of the world. I also want to work less, spend more of my time mentoring people in person, get healthy, be in more walkable environments, spend less time in front of screens, and avoid freaking winter.
Obstacles? I live in NJ. It’s hella expensive to travel to Asia from here. I am also super bored in NJ, which leads to overwork online (none of my real life friends here do whatever it is that I do), which then leads to more stress, dysregulation, and poor sleep.
In doing this, I noticed I vacillate big-time between:
- Wanting crystal clear solutions
- Woo stuff like "My head is too loud. You need to learn not to control. Just let go!"
That quote is from my actual journal, where I apparently think the only other way to navigate life is to meditate on the beach and wait for God to write the answer across the sky.
Parrish’s framework has met me in that in-between space.
A few days after getting home, my dog Fuji (who is only 4) was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Turns out her heart had ballooned to twice its size.
I caught it only because she was scheduled to renew her vaccinations at the vet last week. We noticed something was off about her and he took X-rays.
It was a rough few days of not knowing whether Fuji had a tumor or not (she’s negative) and she’s been responding well to her meds. No one knows how long she has but things are going ok so far.
Great vacation, then right into this! Gotta love when life pulls the emotional whiplash card.
This little dog made a lot of humans cry over the past few days, kids and adults alike. I got Fuji (on a whim) as I started to rebuild my life a few years ago. She’s been a constant sunshine through many sullen days.
Here she is with her usual smile right after the vet drained a ton of fluid from her:
I bought Parrish’s book to help me in some work-related decisions, but I’ve also leaned on it these past few days as I’m navigating a different kind of fog.
Define the problem, list the obstacles, and ask what would have to be true to move through them.
Hope this helped. I do recommend Clear Thinking, so much so that I bought a copy for some of my closest peeps.
Learning to think more clearly will help you in any situation, methinks.
Mike Kim
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Written with a sad but grateful heart by pencil and paper, then edited on a MacBook Pro.