Well, I was going to take this week off because the last three newsletters were a ton of work and I was also traveling to see family for Mother’s Day.
The original plan was to share a video with Sean Osborn, who I’ve been in a mastermind with for over six years.
I started looking through pics and videos for B-roll and the next thing I knew, I was deep down the nostalgia rabbit hole sifting through years of stuff.
(You’ve fallen down one of those before, right?)
This surprises a lot of people but I never planned to make masterminds a big part of what I do. It happened because the demand was there.
I’m still not sure if the demand was for me vs. what good masterminds can actually be: small rooms, smart people, real relationships.
Sadly, the personal brand industry tends to “perform” community more than it actually practices it.
A good mastermind can be pretty rare.
Personally, I’m on the verge of sunsetting things I’ve done for a long time and there’s been a quiet grief about it.
As I sifted through old pics and memories, I started asking:
- Did I do right by the people who crossed my path?
- Did I actually help anyone?
- Did I disappoint anyone?
- Is it weird that we don’t talk as much anymore?
The answer to all of those questions is obviously yes. If you’re in the business of helping others, I imagine you’ve wrestled with the same. Definitely some strange feelings to sit with.
So, here’s a frame I’ve been working with:
There’s wasted. There’s spent. Then, there’s offered.
Wasted is what happens when the thing was wrong: a gig that didn’t fit, the client who was a black hole. You poured into the wrong vessel and while you fulfilled your commitment, it “sucked the life out of you.”
(Anyone who’s done this work long enough has a few of these on the ledger.)
Spent is when the work costs you but the exchange was worth it. Maybe it was a huge client project you had to pull all-nighters for, but led to a ton of referrals or exposure. Maybe it was a conference you hosted or a book you wrote.
You paid the price but eventually you got something back that would not have been possible otherwise. The ledger balanced.
Offered is the third one that most of us don’t name.
Maybe you step up because the moment calls for it. You call an audible when whatever is supposed to be working isn’t. You get on a call because a client’s personal life hit a wall. You give because the moment asked, not because you’d get something back.
I view myself as a person simply trying to help people who are trying to help other people. I’m no hero or martyr.
Yes, I know boundaries are important. But if I wanted every relationship to be cut and dry and end exactly on the clock, I probably should have stayed at my 9-to-5.
Wasted, spent, offered.
These invisible “offerings” are more common than we realize. We just don’t get to talk about them much.
If you’ve made a few of your own, I hope I’ve named something you’ve done that you never named for yourself.
The conversation with Sean is below, and there’s a lot of good stuff in it.
We talk about why most things people are labeling masterminds aren’t actually masterminds, and why free ones almost always die.
There’s also a story in there too about a member of one of our groups who took something I said in passing and turned it into his first 7-figure year.
Watch: 6 Years in the Same Mastermind – What I’ve Learned »
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I spent a lot of time looking for B-roll and chose a clip of Sean from the first time he spoke at our live mastermind years ago, haha.
He’s definitely lost weight.
He’s also gained a ton of email subscribers since then.
Hope you enjoy the convo, and that wasted, spent, and offered is a helpful frame.
Mike Kim
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