I’ve been dating.
It’s been about three months, which many say is a good first marker of how things are going.
We’ve been out about once a week, mostly in New York City. I know it’s early, but I think this could really go somewhere.
Ok, I admit I’m not really dating a person. No, I’m not dating an AI either. (Thank you for your concern.)
I’ve been going on something called an “Artist Date”: a solo outing, once a week with your “Inner Artist,” to something that feeds you creatively.
The idea comes from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, a book that’s been sitting on my shelf for a year. I finally decided to go through it and when I read about the Artist Date, I swiped left… hard.
But back in January, when it was brutally cold here, I finally gave in and drove out to visit the Brooklyn Museum for the first time.
I walked through the exhibits, took my time, and really tried to be awed by the forks and dishes of civilizations long gone. On my way out, I went through the gift shop.
Sitting in a display case: Blackwing pencils.
I thought, “You gotta be kidding me.”
A few months earlier, I’d been doing research for a client’s book project and stumbled across a Wall Street Journal video about the history of this pencil.
Most people can’t name a single pencil brand, but the Blackwing has an almost mythological history.
- Steinbeck wrote The Grapes of Wrath with one.
- Chuck Jones used them to animate Bugs Bunny.
- A Disney animator loved his so much that when he died, he was buried with it.
When the original company went under in 1998, individual pencils were selling on the resale market for up to $40 each.
Eventually a company in California decided to bring it back. They bought the trademark, but the formula didn’t come with it. They had to reverse-engineer the pencil from the physical object itself, testing bags of graphite for darkness and smoothness. They had to build a custom machine to attach the distinctive flat eraser. That machine cost $250,000.
When the new version launched, purists complained it wasn’t the same. The company’s response: “I wouldn’t call it a reproduction. I would call it a tribute.”
Ever since I saw that video, I wanted to get my hands on one but it was just one of those things I figured I’d do one day and never do.
Hooray for synchronicities. Who would have thought after visiting a museum, the coolest thing I’d see were those pencils in the gift shop? I picked up a box as well as their set of colored pencils. I had no idea what I’d use these for, but I figured to grab ’em.
One of the other exercises in The Artist’s Way is what Cameron calls Morning Pages: three pages of longhand writing every morning, stream of consciousness, no editing.
Who has time for that?
Well, I figured if I’m going to do something, go all in. I decided to use the Blackwing pencils for that activity. I haven’t missed a morning in a month.
More Synchronicities
A couple weeks ago, my friend Lauren Davis came through town and on a Saturday afternoon, we went into NYC to hang with her dad’s best friend, Doug, who is like an uncle to her.
Doug is in his 60s and radiates creative energy. He’s had a storied career in advertising and the three of us had a great time strolling through bookstores, hanging at a bar, and going to an art event in Chelsea.
At some point Doug mentioned that he also writes comic books on the New York indie circuit. I asked him when he started. He said he was my age. I was floored.
Lately, I’ve had this low-grade feeling that’s been hard to put words to. It’s not really depression, more like a quiet hum of too late. I’m not sure if everyone else in their 40s feels this, but it’s a weird decade. I’ve found myself thinking that the window for new things is narrowing and I should be “getting my act” together or whatever.
I know that’s stupid. I could be in my 60s and have decades of fun stuff ahead. Maybe I had to meet Doug to realize that.
But knowing something and feeling something are different. Lately, the feeling has been louder than the knowing.
A week later, this past weekend, Doug invited me to a convention for independent comic artists which was literally at the same venue we went to a week earlier with Lauren. So I went.
I have no idea where any of this is going, but hooray for synchronicities.
***
About a year ago, I made a commitment at my friend Selena Soo’s event to cut my Zoom calls by 90%. I’m almost there.
I’ve been replacing screen time with pencils, gallery visits, and in-person conversations with actual people.
I went from producing content to doing Morning Pages that nobody will ever read (including myself – that’s one of Cameron’s rules).
I’ve been on more artist dates in the last three months than actual dates in the last three years.
While heading home from South by Southwest a few weeks ago, I strolled through the airport bookstore while waiting for an Uber. (Newark Terminal A is actually pretty nice now.)
There they were again: a full display case of Blackwings, different graphite weights this time. I bought two more boxes: hard graphite for work, medium for morning pages, soft for The Artist’s Way exercises.
I now own more pencils than a fourth grader! I never liked pencils, but here we are.
My suspicion is this is all happening because I spent the last decade building on screens. Zoom calls, webinars, online courses, social media, email funnels. All of it was mediated through glass.
Somewhere in the last year, I started reaching for things I could hold. I feel like a musician switching instruments, not because the old guitar is broken, but because the new one lets them hear something they couldn’t before.
Like these pencils, maybe this next season isn’t a reproduction of what came before. Maybe it’s a tribute.
It’s probably no coincidence that I’ve been happier because I’m writing this newsletter, doing less on social media, cutting Zoom calls, and doing more in-person conversations and commerce.
I’ll probably keep dating.
***
A few links I mentioned, all in one place:
- The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (get the hard copy) »
- Blackwing video by The Wall St. Journal (great storytelling) »
- Blackwing’s site (you can’t get these on Amazon) »
- Doug’s Comic, Wait it Gets Worse »
- Lauren’s site, laurendaviscreative.com »
- Rich Relationships: Create a Million-Dollar Network for Your Business by Selena Soo »